


Choices We Make

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Choices, Episode: s04e10 Heaven and Hell, Family, Family Reunions, Friendship, Gen, Gen Fic Swap, Running Away, Self-Reflection, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2342147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as she began to wallow in her loneliness, he came out from the darkness to send all her doubts up in smoke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fenellaevangela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenellaevangela/gifts).



> Written for Gen Fic Swap for fenellaevangela. Canon divergence from ‘Heaven and Hell.’ I’m sorry I didn’t include all the characters, I tried so hard but I just couldn’t find a way to make it work, but I loved your prompt of Gabriel and Anna bonding over ditching heaven, so I decided to just run with that. I hope you like!

Anna knew she had made the right choice.

She remembers it all now, remembers that it had been a hard decision to make: to fall or to continue being the angel she had always known herself to be. She had known nothing about humanity but had craved it all the same, its imperfections and secrets, its ability to make something more out of what was already had. In her young days following orders was only natural and she knew not what the alternative would be. She was lost then and had looked for guidance, so she had fought in battles that she did not understand and listened to those who did not care whether she truly believed in their cause.

She became lost again, unsure where to turn in a sea of angels that continued Ito follow orders without a moment’s hesitation. She felt used then, knew that she didn’t want to belong to them anymore, to a heaven with an absent father. Guidance was no longer what she was looking for.

No, Anna was looking for a way out.

She had weighed her options carefully, but that didn’t mean that Anna did not know what choice she would make. The choice was inevitable and had been for quite some time. She was no longer good to heaven or to her fellow angels. She could no longer follow orders without nagging questions in the back of her mind, or hold an angel blade without wondering why she needed to kill a brother or sister that was equally as worthy as her.

They were not all the same, they could be different. _She_ could be different.

So Anna ripped the grace out of her perhaps overly curious and spontaneous form and prayed for there not to be consequences.

The pain was indescribable, agony in its purest form, a pain which could never have been fathomed previous to the action taken. Anna could have done a thousand things, could have cursed herself for her unwavering curious nature just as she could have for the sense of doubt swirling within her, thicker and more tempting to listen to than the grace that was too much a part of her than she liked.

The fall was even more difficult to live through than the pain. It was hope and fear, confusion and relief, a multitude of emotions that she could no sooner control than she could snuff out. Anna wondered over and over if she had made the right choice, if she would miss heaven more than appreciate the courage and desperation her drastic action took.

There were few who had fallen since the expulsion of Lucifer from heaven.

Anna was one of those lucky few.

* * *

 

The inability of remembering could have been a blessing in disguise, but mainly Anna felt that it was lost time she must make up for. She had spent nearly all of her human life locked up in a prison, a prison of silence and reflection, not that Anna had anything to reflect over.

Now she remembered being an angel and felt even more lost as a human.

She drew the jacket closer around her and zipped it up as she ventured into the woods. Temperature was startling now that she remembered being a angel and not having to concern herself with it. It was a burden in some ways but also a beautiful distinction between humans and angels. It was a relief to feel cold, to feel so alive and know that she had made this choice: the choice to fall.

Ruby had warned her not to stray far and she wouldn’t, she didn’t want anyone to worry on her account. But she needed silence now, to be alone with her own thoughts. Now that she was no longer locked away and kept a secret, even from herself, she would be on the run for the remainder of her human life.

Maybe she would make it and maybe she wouldn’t, but if she was even granted another short month as a human then she would take it and embrace it for what it was: a second chance, a chance for her to start over and be someone else.

Anna was learning fast that freewill was an underestimated concept. The choices she had to make in the past were daunting, just as they are now, but they are no less cherished because of the frustration they bring. These choices are made by her and entirely her, no one else will hold sway. Those who are helping her will be carefully considered, for the lives of the human Winchesters and the demon Ruby have come to mean much to her in such a brief period of time, but they will not make her decisions.

“You don’t miss it, do ya, Annie?”

She turned around and saw a set of golden eyes blink back at her in amusement. His posture seemed calm but she could also tell that he was stiff and careful, ever watchful of their surroundings. It was no wonder why, considering he was, or at least used to be, as sought after as she now is. The archangel Gabriel had come to see her, and why she did not know.

Gabriel the runaway, the archangel who abandoned his brothers and heaven and has been missing ever since. Anna assumed that he had mingled on Earth with humans, but no one had been certain of anything. Honestly, she had forgotten all about him and even if she hadn’t, finding him would have been yet another thing to worry about. Gabriel may still be an archangel, but confiding in him about abandoning heaven is her greatest hope at this point.

Anna could not help but smile; if anyone could understand her situation it would be Gabriel.

“No, Gabriel. I don’t. Grace is power but it is also a burden, one that clouds judgment and shifts perspective. It held me back, even more so than the necessities of being human.” She prided herself on how sure she spoke, but it was only a fraction of what she felt.

Anna had doubts, doubts that were coming to the surface again, hindering her minuscule time as a human.

“You sure are deep for a rebel angel.”

Gabriel smiled, but there was a glint in his eye that Anna had not the skill or experience to understand. The archangel wouldn’t turn her in, not even her capture and delivery could put him back into good graces, but she also had no understanding of his intentions. Why had he come to see her in the first place? What could possibly make him so interested in her as to put himself in danger?

“I admire your initiative, it’s a shame you’ve been locked up for so long. You could have been at my level by now.”

Anna was not sure that she would ever be at Gabriel’s _level_. Gabriel was cocky and narcissistic and he seemed much too sure of everything for his own good. It was odd, but he struck her as naive in a way too, naive enough to believe nothing could touch him, that he knew it all. Maybe having stayed away from heaven for as long as he has made you into that, but Anna would never take her humanity for granted, nor imagine that it would never be taken from her as soon as she let her guard down or rather, as much as she wished for it not to be so, ran out of luck.

At least in heaven she hadn’t had to rely on luck.

She gazed at him knowingly. “Where have you been hiding, brother?”

His unconcerned grin slid away to reveal the tight lines at the folds of his mouth. “Here and there. Shacked up in a Norse deity, one who’s a lot like me I must say. Still,” he shrugged, “it gets old from time to time. But then again, no one ever said ditching the ol’ fish bowl was going to be easy. Sure, no moronic zombies and petulant puppies, and no idiot brothers to waste my precious time on, but humans are tiring. They can be amusing in a lot of different ways, and useful too, but it only goes so far before you realize their tiny brains really can’t keep up with much of anything. Don’t worry though, Anna,” his grin returned, as if trying to override the earlier slight tremor in his voice when he mentioned his brothers. “You’ll be a natural once you get the hang of it.”

And Anna certainly did not want to know just what uses and for what entertainment the humans he stumbled upon were used for. Although, who was she to criticize or argue? Gabriel had lived a great deal longer among humans than she, and he just might be here to help her, or at least give her some much-needed guidance.

“I’m not sure I’ll get much of a chance at that.” She couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself in light of the fact that she was being hunted, and that she could only run for so long before capture. She had scarce opportunity to be a human prior, and she would have barely anymore from this moment on. “My days of being human seem limited.”

It suddenly occurred to Anna that she would rather die as a human then be forced back to heaven, form near to bursting again with toilsome grace.

Gabriel looked at her sadly, and she wondered just what he would say next. Not that she knew much about Gabriel, but it seemed odd that he wasn’t poking fun at her. It also seemed odd that he was still here, conversing with her, an angel who didn’t matter.

Then there was a grin, a grin that shone brighter than all the stars in the sky. “Still, better than being up there, huh? Anything’s better than that hell hole.”

Anna couldn’t help but smile. He was right about heaven, although she wouldn’t dare to use the term he had used. Maybe there was something in the two of them that had caused them to rebel, or maybe it was just as simple as growing tired of following orders from everyone other than....

“I miss him. Father. Heaven seems to have fallen apart in his prolonged absence.”

His face fell but for once Gabriel didn’t have anything to say, and Anna took solace in that she didn’t have anything more to say either.

The silence seemed to draw out longer and longer between them, and Anna bit her lip in discomfort, not sure if she should say something first or wait for the archangel to. But then he broke the silence and all seemed well again in that moment.

“Tell ya what, sweet cakes. Just cause I like you so much I’m willing to somewhat put my neck on the line for you. However, do _not_ take this lightly.” The smile faded then, replaced by a serious look that mesmerized the angel turned human. “You do have another choice, Anna. Stay with them or come with me. I can’t guarantee that me and you will work, you still have a helluva lot to catch up on and I honestly don’t have time to babysit, but it’s the best I can give you on such short notice.”

He was gone in the blink of an eye.

Anna stood in the same spot she had been standing in when Gabriel first arrived. Her legs would not cooperate in her urgency to move and to be close to the Winchesters and Ruby again, where she felt wanted and important in a way she had never felt before. She glanced up at the stars, as if they would give her their long-kept secrets, a sign that would tell her which path to take.

But no one could give her a sign now. This was her choice to make, a choice Gabriel was kind enough to provide her. And maybe it was a trap, but somewhere deep down inside Anna knew staying with the Winchesters would lead to nothing good. Her superiors would find her, and they wouldn’t care what she had to say.

She walked back to the cabin when she fully realized the gravity of her situation, when she realized that this was yet another choice for her to make. Anna walked as quickly as she dared, not wanting to worry her companions anymore than she probably already had.

Anna would not lie, it would be hard for her to leave Dean, who had opened up his heart to her and had loved her anyway when she had done the same, despite knowing nothing would come of it. She would miss Ruby too, who for a demon had shown her such kindness and compassion, a concern that Anna knew she did not deserve.

As she lay down to try to sleep that night she turned Gabriel’s words over and over in her mind until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

_You do have another choice, Anna. Stay with them or come with me._

She fled.

**FIN**


End file.
